Putting on a Face
Cooking has always been a passion of mine. It’s in my blood– both my parents are great cooks, encouraging exploration in food from an age where most children won’t eat anything that isn’t sugar-coated. Some of my earliest memories are of my Grandma’s kitchen, memories that are still conjured everytime I smell traditional Portuguese dishes like Bacalhau a bras (salt cod and potatoes). There was a time when I seriously contemplated applying to culinary school rather than university.
I’ve been in the post-secondary realm now for 5 years, and in that time I’ve been fortunate enough to maintain a job at a local steakhouse. I’ve risen in the ranks, from a naive salad tender to a lead prep position. It’s been a great job through a time of great transition, and it provides an excellent example of a problem– rather, a difference– that I have in character: I cannot put on a face.
Allow me to explain. In a restaurant, there are two types of employees, back of house and front of house. Back of house includes cooks, expeditors, salad tenders and dishwashers. These are the people in the background, the ones responsible for that perfectly cooked medium-rare slapped down infront of you. The front of house employees, on the other hand, are responsible for greeting and serving the guests. These include bartenders, hosts, bussers and servers. Everybody knows that in this business, with the exception of executive chefs, the real money is in serving. It is not unusual for servers to clear $150-$200 cash on a busy night. That is why when I was offered a serving position, friends and colleagues alike called me crazy for turning it down.
A server is not unlike what I’m told a PR professional is supposed to be. Charming, conversational and charismatic– all the qualities that people tell me I have. There is a catch, though. The server is expected to maintain these qualities regardless of the way the guest treats them. Served with a courteous smile, even if I’m being cursed at and disrespected. And this is where I stray.
I have never been able to put on that face. That mask that maintains its composure infront of a person who lies, disrespects and/or has no regard for me beyond their personal motives. I know the world is inherently selfish, but there is that irremovable part of me that demands something from everybody I interact with.
The PR world promises to test my fatal flaw. I’ve bitten my tongue once already. Benjamin Disraeli once wrote that “man is only truly great when he acts from the passions.” I urge the new breed of PR professional, my classmates of whom so many are destined for great things, to step out from behind the mask. There is no longer room for the old, plastic PR professional.
I’m the same way, Brandon, but people don’t assume so. People are usually shocked when I speak my mind, and say something that’s potentially offensive.
I worked at a Second Cup for a couple years when I was in university. As you’ve explained, customers assume you have to be over-the-top polite even when they’re treating you like you’re barely a person. But, I didn’t stand for it. I’m going to treat someone with the amount of respect they give to me—no matter the situation.
I’m glad that you share this point of view, and point out that as emerging PR professionals, we have to avoid stepping on toes—because it’s going to happen regardless.
I follow Dave Jones and Dave Fleet on Twitter, and they mentioned something along these lines a couple of days ago:
Dave Jones: Personal Brand shouldn’t be synonymous with not saying things that may offend some. That’s called vanilla. Say it. Mean it. Stand behind it.
Dave Fleet: I completely agree. Don’t be sorry for having an opinion.
Good to know we’re not alone!
With regards to biting your tongue, I think it really depends on where you work. I’ve been a front-of-house bartender for over three years and there have been many situations where I’ve encountered disgruntled customers, rude customers, and my favourite, perverted customers (sense my sarcasm). My management team has 100 per cent support for all staff and if a customer is rude to us, we are not expected or encouraged to be pleasant back. I have told customers off, I have kicked them out of the restaurant, and have banned them from returning all because they were inappropriate. I think that the service industry has traditionally followed the idea that the customer is always right, but it is changing.
And thank god it is. I’m in total agreeance with you that we should step out from behind the mask. This should not only be a practise we adopt in our careers, but our lives.